I hate the fact that regardless of how many times you take advantage of what an understanding person I am, I end up understanding that things happen & people deserve more chances. Frick. Seriously, why do I even like you? You’re made of power that I don’t want to be part of. It’s not fair to me & I don’t know why you think it’s okay.
I don’t want to start out with some sad story about my depression because each case of depression is different. Although the severity can be relative to others, I’ll just inform you that I was one of those people who self harmed & went back & forth with suicide cases for about 7 years.
Now, I understand that everyone gets depressed over different things. There are those who temporarily feel depressed. Such as a break up within a relationship of any kind; whether it being intimate or within friendship. Or other things. Just not something that lasts over months & years.
There are those who are clinically depressed. As to where there isn’t a definite reason as to why they are depressed all the time, they just are. People who are clinically depressed are diagnosed by a doctor (hence, “clinical”. Felt the need to clarify on that) & are usually sent out for additional help from a psychiatrist, psychologist, therapist, counselor, whatever you wish to call. (The difference between a psychiatrist & psychologist, is that a psychiatrist can prescribe medication & a psychologist can only simply make a suggestion & counsel you). People who are clinically depressed have a what we call “chemical imbalance”. Yes, that’s right, a chemical imbalance. Meaning, your brain cannot properly produce neurotransmitters as a non depressed person. Which is when your body doesn’t have enough minerals or vitamins to balance out what your brain needs.
What’s so fascinating about the human mind, is that each one is different. There is no replica & you can’t duplicate it. We all think differently, learn differently, act differently, & view the world differently. Which explains why one method cannot simply snap every person out of clinical depression. There are many ways to go about handling your depression, even beyond the few examples I’m going to give you. Some people find their inner strength & toughen it out without any help at all. They were able to battle themselves without completely getting out of control. There are people who see a therapist. It’s a way to clean off your chest of any burden or anxiety you might have for yourself. There are people who take antidepressants. Antidepressants help to even out your chemical imbalance. I’m not going to suggest a way for you to go about handling your depression. I just want you to know that there are options. & harming yourself in ANY way is NOT an option.
So how does one get a diagnosis of depression? It varies. Some individuals see their family doctor & explain to them a little about how emotionally drained they are. They are often referred to a psychiatrist/psychologist. There are individuals who seek help from family first, then go about seeing a professional. Then there’s the frightening way of being diagnosed with depression… The emergency room. You see, some people don’t realize how depressed they are. As for me, I thought it was normal for people to feel as depressed as I did. I thought nothing was wrong. Well, until I made the decision to attempt suicide. I’m not going to explain any of my methods of attempt, because I don’t want to give anyone any ideas.
Because each mind is different, I want you to do what YOU think is best for yourself. If you feel like you can toughen it out, then do that. BUT, if you start to get thoughts of harming yourself in any way, that is when I want you to seek help. If you kind of feel like you just need to vent to someone, go see a counselor. They won’t judge you. They’ll listen to what you have to say & try to help you feel better again. If you feel like perhaps antidepressants will help you, then talk to your family doctor or a psychiatrist.
Remember, the goal is to get better. If you want change in your life, you’re going to have to change something. The answer won’t fall from the sky. I know I don’t have to lecture you with how precious life is, because I’m sure you’ve received many of those. So I’ll tell you that living is an adventure. It’s thrilling to never not really know what’s going to happen. It’s more than just a fresh breath of air to finally say “I made it”. I’m not going to say “Oh you know, it gets better”. Because it’ll ONLY get better if you TRY.
As for me, I feel like this is the healthiest my depression has ever been. I did away with the people who made me feel terrible about myself. It took me a while to realize it, but I live for me. I don’t live for anyone else. Yes, I’ve fallen down many times. But that’s what makes actually pulling through, worth it that much more. With determination, I believe that you can demolish depression.